Famine
by Eddykins
Summary: I wonder what Inuyasha tastes like... CRACKFIC.


Famine 

**Rating. **PG

**Summary.** The reason Inuyasha will never hang around a hungry Inu-tachi again.

* * *

The Inu-tachi stared hungrily at the last cup of ramen in their rations. Inuyasha began to beat a rock against a pile of sticks, yelling obscenities as he did. It was the second time that night he was doing that. Or… was it the tenth?

Sango sat on a log next to Kagome.

"Remind me what he's trying to do again?"

"I think he's trying to start a fire."

Meanwhile Shippo was keeping himself busy by banging an acorn against another rock and whining.

"C'mon, you stupid acorn! I'm HUNGRY!!"

The spreading hunger was even affecting Miroku. He hadn't even glanced at Sango or Kagome the wrong way for the past three days. Okay, so maybe that's a good thing.

* * *

**Three hours later…**

Tired of Inuyasha's loud onslaught against the pile of sticks, she reached into her backpack and got out some matches. She lit one and flicked it onto the sticks. Miroku watched dreamily as the fire crackled and burned.

Unfortunately, Inuyasha got too close and the fire spread onto him as well. The hanyou yelped and ran around on all fours as he felt the uncomfortable warmth on his vulnerable tush. It wasn't like he'd actually burn, but it was hot. It was HOT!

Inuyasha suddenly tripped and landed on his behind. The fire was put out instantly.

The hanyou sighed and watched the water that Kagome was trying to boil.

* * *

**Fifteen minutes later…**

"Okay, I think we're ready…"

Kagome steadily reached for the prized ramen when she found that… that… It was gone!! She crawled around the fire searching for it, hoping the wind caused it to roll off somewhere. Then she bumped into something stiff.

And it was red. In fact, it was stiff and red. The stiff red thing just happened to be Inuyasha, who was crunching away happily. Wait… CRUNCHING?!

Kagome snatched open Inuyasha's mouth and found in it:

**50% half-chewed ramen**

**50% drool**

"INUYASHA, YOU ATE OUR RAMEN?!"

Inuyasha nodded lazily and crammed another mouthful of raw ramen into his mouth.

Everyone snapped up, giving the "You're-gonna-die" look of doom! Inuyasha didn't notice since he was so busy munching away at his raw ramen treat.

Shippo poofed into his pink balloon form and gnawed away at Inuyasha's head. Small wisps of hair fell out, but Inuyasha was too engulfed in his ramen to notice. Nothing ever got between a hungry hanyou and his food.

Suddenly, the dog hanyou found himself upon his back as the Inuyasha-tachi ganged up upon him. The nearly empty cup of ramen fell to the ground and Inuyasha was on his back. His attackers glared at him solemnly.

"So," Kagome whispered viciously, "what should we do with him?"

Miroku's voice rang out, with a slightly insane feel to it. "I say we strip him! STRIP HIM!"

The forest grew silent as everyone's gaze turned to the monk, and then attended to Inuyasha. Or… the laden spot in the grass where he had been.

Inuyasha scampered away frantically, trying to get away from his aggressors. However, he wasn't able to get far, as Kagome said his most dreaded word.

"SIT!"

**Slam!** Inuyasha kissed his beloved dirt.

* * *

**Five minutes later…**

Inuyasha lay on the forest grass, bound and gagged, screaming curses at the tops at his lungs. Those foul words, however, could not be understood by his starving Inuyasha-tachi.

"Okay," Kagome whispered in a hush-hush like voice. "Inuyasha is a DOG demon, right?"

Everyone nodded.

"And dogs are edible, RIGHT?"

Everyone nodded once more.

"So…" Kagome nodded at Inuyasha and then nodded at her crew.

"YES! WE EAT HIM!" Miroku shouted excitedly.

This small outburst earned him a whack on the head. "Shush, you fool!" Sango murmured, half-whispering, half-screaming.

Everyone stood and crowded around the hostage Inuyasha. Miroku was half-drooling, and half-foaming at the mouth, Shippo was twitching, Sango was sharpening Hiraikotsu, and Kagome was getting out the utensils. Yes indeed, readers. The Inu-tachi had gone insane from hunger.

"GET HIM!" Kagome shouted.

Everyone dove for the trapped hanyou, who's frightened eyes let out a silent scream. He could feel his once faithful crew gnawing on his limbs, and he thought Shippo was devouring his right ear.

"Mmm, he's so sweet and tasty!" Sango said dazedly. Inu's eyes widened with fear.

* * *

**Thirty minutes later…**

"BREAK, DAMN YOU!" Kagome beat on Inuyasha's skin with a sharp stone. "BREAK!!!"

Inu's body was racked with pain. The constant gnawing, along with the bruises and scratches he was receiving because of it, were beginning to become unbearable. His ears twitched painfully as he heard a silent rustling from the bushes.

Kaede appeared along with a basket of fruit and goodies.

"I thought I'd find ye here." She set down the basket. "Ye forgot ye rations."

Everyone's eyes lit up and everyone – including Inuyasha who had broken free from his ropes – tackled-hugged Kaede.

"WE LOVE YOU, KAEDE! WE LOVE YOU, KAEDE!!" Everyone shouted, not knowing they were nearly crushing the old woman with their weight.

Suddenly, a very nude Sesshomaru appeared from the bushes.

"Alas, a cornucopia of love…" he murmured and joined the Inu-tachi in their love onslaught on poor Kaede. "Hugs galore…"

**The End!**


End file.
